Category Archives: Just Lunch

It’s Just Lunch – What Had I Wanted?

Twenty-second in a series [gs *] I know I’m close to forgiving him. But I also know from experience that I’m still not to the end of the line, there is still something snagged upstream. I know because I don’t feel that spontaneous sense of release and freedom yet. In any case, it finally dawns… Continue Reading

It’s Just Lunch – Touching His Heart

Twenty-first in a series [gs *] I’m normally a late sleeper – but writing this lunch thing has possessed me. I sometimes wake at 4:30 or 5:00 am, my mind whirring away, narrating incessantly. One pre-dawn morning I wake with a crystal clear visceral memory of a moment at the end of our hand-holding episode.… Continue Reading

It’s Just Lunch – Another Apology

Twentieth in a series [gs *] Let’s recap the outline of where we’re at. So far, we’ve had: lunch & hand-holding; his christ-in-christine/boner email; my polite-but-firm go-away email; his boy-noise self-justifying email, my drop-dead, you-small-humping-dog email, his ‘ouch-I’ll-process email, and finally his flat apology. That last item blew off the lid of the Chthonios and… Continue Reading

It’s Just Lunch – The Chthonios

Nineteenth in a series [gs *] There is a place in the underworld, down near Hades, where the unspent flaming rage of the active feminine pools, where the unseen tears of women’s history burn. My husband calls this the Chthonios, the timeless place of women’s suffering at the hands of men, masculinity, the masculine, misogyny… Continue Reading

It’s Just Lunch – A Flat Apology

Eighteenth in a series [gs *] Twenty-four hours after I hoped that he meant to process his hurt feelings in private, I get another email from lunch-guy. I’m really wondering how he’s dealing with his wife and kids throughout all this – ‘Man!’ I’m thinking ‘this fool needs to slow the fuck down!’ Anyway –… Continue Reading

It’s Just Lunch – Blame-the-Victim Tactics

Seventeenth in a series [gs *] Now, you’d think we might be done, or at least that I should ‘be complete’, that I’d had my say, got it off my chest, could feel better now. But that would be wishful thinking. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve noticed I’ve left things out. His allusions that… Continue Reading

It’s Just Lunch – Boy Noise

Sixteenth in a series [gs *] My husband calls that ‘boy-noise’. That innocently misogynistic/immature masculine effort to shut out what a woman tells him, her feeling, meaning, message, with a cool pseudo-unemotional logic. That reductionist certainty that he understands everything there is to know about the situation. Rationalizing away the essential core of her truth.… Continue Reading

"For a woman to explore and express the fullness of her sexuality, her emotional and intellectual capacities, would entail who knows what risks and who knows what truly revolutionary alteration of the social conditions that demean and constrain her."

-Louise J. Kaplan - Female Perversions