Beginning the Conversation

One of the purposes of writing this book is to examine the process of hiding and revealing, creating a public persona, keeping secrets that threaten that persona, dismantling that persona. I want to examine the impact of secrets on the soul and on the soul's relationship with the world. This book is as much about "managing" the information (of having been a whore) as the information itself.

Therefore, part of the process of this book is to start telling people, now, during the writing, that I was once a prostitute. I tell about one new person every week or so. A neighbor, a prior finance industry colleague, a past client I've stayed in touch with, current friend, a classmate.

We get together for coffee and after the usual chit-chat, they say, "so what are you doing, now that you're not working and you've graduated." "Writing a memoir," I respond. That's the opening, and somewhere after that I tell them. It's been interesting. No-one I've told so far was really surprised – the people I'm still in touch with are naturally those who knew me better than most. Well enough to suspect my past is not the usual, not "the standard issue" as one friend put it. 

This "coming out" is turning into an amazing part of the process of writing this book. A story in itself. A story I'll share in this blog.

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"For a woman to explore and express the fullness of her sexuality, her emotional and intellectual capacities, would entail who knows what risks and who knows what truly revolutionary alteration of the social conditions that demean and constrain her."

-Louise J. Kaplan - Female Perversions